Are They Your Friends, Or Are They Just Your Drinking Buddies?

One aspect of growing up as a man is going out and getting wasted with your friends, talking to girls, embarrassing yourself, and regretting your actions via a 2-day hangover where you are barely able to get out of bed or drink a glass of water without dry retching.

As we get older, however, we value different things, such as being able to get up early and make progress in our lives. Whether that be through going to the gym, getting that important piece of work done, or just not feeling like complete crap throughout your weekend.

Sometimes it may feel as though the people in your friend group don’t value these things as much as you do, and that as soon as one night out is finished, the next one is being planned in the group chat for next weekend. If this feels like your current situation, then it may be time to ask yourself the question: Are they your friends, or are they just your drinking buddies?

How To Differentiate From Your Friends And Drinking Buddies?

To do this, we are going to have to ask ourselves one very important question:

Do I only see my friends when they have a drink in their hand?

If we only ever meet certain people with the sole purpose of drinking alcohol, and can only talk to them once you have a drink in your hand, then that is a sure sign that these people are your drinking buddies.

Remember, if the only way you can tolerate and communicate with your friend group is by having a couple of Jack and Cokes and partying well into the night, then you may need to find new friends that align with your core values.

Here’s what Chris Williamson says about this topic.

Another surefire way to differentiate between the two groups is to suggest an activity at the weekend that does not involve alcohol.

An example of this would be inviting everyone to play footgolf on the day the partying usually occurs. If your friends say no, or immediately suggest assigning a designated driver and getting 24 cans of Carlsberg so you can pre-drink while you play, now you know you’ve got some serious drinking buddies.

Okay, My Friends Are Actually My Drinking Buddies, What Should I Do?

Having determined this fact about your “friend” group and realizing that in order to grow, you may have to either dial back on the weekend partying antics or stop them altogether, you may now feel anxious at the thought of being lonely in the short term. This is not the case.

What you’ve now done is open up a whole new world of opportunities for yourself to take charge of your life, meet new interesting people that align with your values, and grow.

You have gained 2 days of your weekend back. The one day that you’re partying, and the hungover day the morning after (In my case it was 3 days, I hated hangovers).

To meet new people that are on the same journey as you, here is what I recommend:

Martial Arts

Joining a martial arts club is a great way to meet new people. For me, starting Jiu Jitsu in particular was a groundbreaking moment. I became obsessed and would train any evening I could. I met lots of new people who felt the same way and became good friends with many of them.

The great thing about martial arts is that it’s intimate, and by default, you will be paired with a partner with whom you will have to talk to in order to progress. This tip also applies to moving abroad to a new place where you don’t know anybody. Google search a local martial arts club and start ASAP. You will meet people that you will stay in contact with for years to come.

If martial arts is not for you (It’s definitely not for everyone), then start by finding a hobby that interests you.

This could be swimming, surfing, football, guitar, piano, business, etc. Pick anything that interests you and join a club or group. Not only will you be able to get better at the hobby you enjoy or take your first steps in a new venture, but you will also make connections with the people who are on the same journey as you. This is extremely valuable.

Conclusion

Remember that at first, meeting new people may seem daunting, but if you are unhappy in your current situation, the best thing to do is to get out of it and take the uncomfortable step to try something new (Trying new things is a skill in itself and is something that should be practiced regularly).

There are so many opportunities in life that are waiting to be seized, and for some, I hope that reading this post is the first step towards leading a more fulfilling life with meaningful people that hope for your success as much as their own.

Go get it.

Sean.